*.._.-._.-Mirror, Mirror-._.-._..*

None of these Thoughts are real
So why is it all So messed up
my mind is on a roll, it's not listening
my world keeps getting twisted
I have to

stop my mind working overtime
driving me insane with fear
It's becoming my worst enemy
One minute I am fine
The next I've lost my mind

Mirror mirror on the wall
Who's the dumbest of them all
getting all caught up in my own lies
my life is not a fairytale to make
hurting myself with every twist, every stake
Mirror mirror on the wall
Who's the fakest of the all

Insecurities keep on growing
Pain, Sadness and anger calling
Panic sets in
wanting to give in
To make this story worth reading

screaming to make the sound of pain fade
laughing to make it look all ok
You think I've got it
I'll write it in
lies upon lies

Mirror mirror on the wall
Who's the dumbest of them all
getting all caught up in my own lies
my life is not a fairytale to make
hurting myself with every twist, every stake
Mirror mirror on the wall
Who's the fakest of the all

Mirror mirror on the wall...







(c) Bonnie B.

*.._.-._.-The breaking of a broken heart-._.-._..*

Why do I cry
cry to the heavens
thought I think no one hears
why dose it hurt
when the result would have been the same
The breaking of a broken heart
the tearing of the torn
every tear I cry
every word I scream
I cant seem to get away from it all
d@mmit you broke me
after taking what I gave you
now I'm left with contempt for myself
I'm left behind once again
The breaking of a broken heart
the tearing of the torn
mistakes made not once but twice
are like a vice
and it'll never let me go
never let be be what I was to be
The breaking of a broken heart
the tearing of the torn




(c) Bonnie B.

.._.-._Just_.-._..

Thought I had it all figured out
or maybe I knew I didn't
So many things I wish I hadn't done
But all I could think of was the fun
I know

use me, leave me behind
abuse me, there's nothing left to find
another girl forgotten
another nothing left behind
I know

what do you do then
with trouble just around the bend
what's left to fight for
when your left crawling on the floor

Just another nothing
Just another Girl
Just leave me
Just leave me to die
Just cry
Just cry like you did before
Just pretend this isn't happening
Just Pretend you don't care
Just another nothing
Just another girl

I'm never gonna learn
that's none of your concern
d@mn him for treating me like...
what I really am
I know

Drown myself in music
Drown myself in pity
that will get me no where
done it before
I know

what do you do then
with trouble just around the bend
what's left to fight for
when your left crawling on the floor

Just another nothing
Just another Girl
Just leave me
Just leave me to die
Just cry
Just cry like you did before
Just pretend this isn't happening
Just Pretend you don't care
Just another nothing
Just another girl

I'll pretend like I've got it
I'll pretend I think I'm beautiful
I'll pretend like I'm not afraid
I'll pretend like I'm that girl
The girl I used to be before...

what do you do then
with trouble just around the bend
what's left to fight for
when your left crawling on the floor

Just another nothing
Just another Girl
Just leave me
Just leave me to die
Just cry
Just cry like you did before
Just pretend this isn't happening
Just Pretend you don't care
Just another nothing
Just another girl

Just Pretend.






(c) Bonnie B.

What I've been doing

Ok. Well... I went to Rae's house and we hung out and watched movies all day/ morning *grinz* and then I went to church with her and after church I went to the mall with my family... Don't EVER do that... It doesn't work. But the thing that did work is that I got some new pants (wee) and so after the mall I went home and then my mom wanted me to go with her to get some yarn so that we could start knitting again (I feel so old) and then I started knitting my scarf... Then I was reading.... And I stayed up most of the night... Doing my bedtime ritual *sigh*... Then On Monday I was just lounging and whatever and then I went out (after making myself all purty *grin*) and went to the library. There I talked to a guy I knew from school, and yeah. Then I walked home and thought about stuff... Got home. Had a few phone calls. Had to get off cause my parents were hardcore fighting (wee *sarcastic*) and my mom told me to go find my dad... Who had taken off to go smoke (found that out later) and I didn't find him and my brother was being dumb... And my mom was... pfft who wants to know this... O well the night ended.. Finally and I did the same thing I did the night before and fell asleep eventually. And today's, today and I'm going to have to do today's and yesterdays work...Great... TTYL. LYL.

The All-Nighter

The All-Nighter was sooooooo much fun.... kinda creepy at times but fun. Before the all nighter I was at Rae's House for a few hours and I had bought (for the All-Nighter) 3 energy drinks: 2 Amp's and one Sobe Adrenaline (their were no Balws at the Fred Myers I was at) and some candy. While at Rae's, we went and I bought more candy and A Bawls! *grinz* We also went and saw Elizabeth at Subways... hehe and she fed us! Then we went to the church for the ALL-Nighter and after checking in and stuff got on a bus and went to Safari Sam's (its an Arcade place that would be REALLY lame if it wasn't with my friends.), then after they told us the "Rules", we were let loose! Besides the video games there was a mini-Golf thing and a Jungle gym thing (that I got lost in TOO many times) they trurned off the lights and turned on the Black light so everything look REALLY cool. While I was "lisening" to the rules I was introduced to joshes (Josh AKA: creepy stalker of me and caitlyn from camp) friends ... something like brenden and Bobby or something (they were twins). And the 1st thing I think I did was play Air hockey with one of the two twins...But I donno which... They don't look alike, I'm just REALLY bad with names... But the point is... I won... Twice!!! *grins* after that was kinda hazy for me... Cause' I drank all 4 of my energy drinks in less then... Err 3 min? But anywho I know the basics... I got lost in the jungle gym thing like a million times, played some video games, bashed Gordon, "played' mini golf while attacking ppl with the glow-ee stuff I had bought at freddy's, and...and talking I guess... It was sooooo fun... Oooo and at around 2:00 a.m. the jungle gym thing turned into a "lovers nest" (*shudderz*) I stayed outta there after that! And at around 3:30 a.m. (-ish) we left on 2 separate busses one went back to church for something I really don't know what and the Other (the one I was on) went to the middle of no where for a game in the dark. The game was there were 4 teams and each team was to find glow sticks 2 of each color. And everyone had a sock filled with white prouder (to mark if you were out of not) it was... entertaining in the least! So after 2 games of that at around 5:30 a.m. we left and drove back to the church. There we hung out till I think 6:15-ish then they fed ppl (I didn't eat) and then we played some other dumb game... *mutters under breath* Red Buffer Robo bracelet... *shakes head* anyways... Then it was 7:00 am and time to go home.... Or in my case Back to Rae's house... Where I fell on to her bed and fell asleep instantly... hehe and slep till 1:00 p.m. and ate and fell back asleep and woke up again at 4:00 pm -ish and went back to sleep, then at 6:00 p.m. I was done sleeping so I woke Rae up and we did stuff... And yeah I'm done typing my hands hurt... LYL!