Just random thoughts...

my tummy hurts, I havent talked to rae for a while, My boy's are confussing mee, I haven't heard from "him" after the confession *rolls eyes*, My head hurts, I can't stop thinking!, Stupid braces, HITCH!!!!, Rae told mee a secret and I can't ask him about it-.-, Im Really really really BORED!!!!!!!!, Music is my friend, I miss my old ignorence, I dont think Im so posed to be on the computer right now..., I love to sketch, Rae still isn't on MSN, ...I talked to Anderew on the fone *weird*, I smell yummi stuff..., I haven't writen in my Journal in a while, My hair is too short and my nails are too!!, my brothers annoying, I love the Ocean..., writing is fun, I want rae @.@, I think I'll go now... TTYL Love you...(I think)

Don't tell mee I can't

Dont tell mee that I can't because you know what? I can and did...And know Im freaked I can't belive I did that....but Im not sorry I did though I should have done it in person...*sigh* well w/e... O.o. I think I'll post a pic. or two that I have...

Questions. Do you have the answers?

1. Why is rae friends with mee?

2. Why dose everyone treat mee like Im 2 years old?

3. why dose everyone hear only what they want to hear?

4. why did my best friend back-stabb mee?

5. why am I so shy when it comes to things that mean somthing to mee?

6. why do I like being in my room, compared to most anywhere else?

7. why dont i like rapp?

8. why do i always have head aches'?

9. why dose everyone think Im too skinny?

10. why dose cam go on moblie when he dosent have a cell phone?

11. why did i get depressed?

12. why do I feel ugly at the mall and most anywhere else with pretty gurls?

13. why is whit so annoying somthimes?

14. why do I hate jocks?

15. why do i hate cheerleaders?

16. why do i feel like I have to be the center of attention?

17. why do i always want more?

18. why do so many people dislike who I really am?...

19. why do i let other people push mee around?

20. why do i let guys sexually harrass mee?

21. why cant I freaking' spell?

22. why dose eveyone think Im A.D.D or A.D.H.D.?

23. why do most girls ask boys out now?...

24. why do I feel like I have to prove myself?

25. why isn't church safe anymore?

26. why do public schools just suck for mee and are good for my brother?

27. why is the world so twisted?

28. why cant i just fit in?

29. why do i want to fit in?

30. why do I love blue eyes?

31. why is ky a HLB?

32. why do I love the ocean and feel like its apart of mee?

33. why do i like the rain?

34. why did i trust everyone and everything?

35. why do i need a BF?

36. why do my parents not want mee to date?

37. why is will Smith so freakin' hott?

38. why do i hate cats?

39. why do i love dogs?

40. why am i obsessed with music?

41. why do I want to be a singer when I grow up when for one its impossible and for two Im SUPER shy?

42. why do I always make a fool of myself?

43. why do I hate disney land?

44. why do i feel like i have no purpose?

45. why do i like milk?

46. why do I love reading fantasy and Romance novels?

47. why do I like to sketch?

48. why dose rae and most other people who arn't full of themselfs think there ugly?

49. why are so many people full of themselfs?

50. why am I asking?

YESTERDAY ...AND TODAY...

YESTERDAY-
I went to the " Blazers vs. Lakers" game! my dad had two 3rd row (from the front I could smell the players...*yummi*) and two VIP room seats (soooo cool) I went to both (we switched off durring half-time) the 3rd row seats had waiters! Every thing was over priced but my dad gave mee $40 ^.^ But OMG in the VIP room you take an elevator to the "suite floor" and the view was pretty cool (but not as kool as the 3rd row seats onez ^o^) and In the VIP rooms there was a whole bunch of food and alot of different things to drink in a mini glass fridge and 2 suites next too us was some movie star but I forget who <.<

TODAY-
Rae is gonna do that thing we "planned" today...weeeeeeeee! I cant wait to hear from her!! but I dont know If I'm gonna be able to talk to her cause my mom is being weird but still...and cameran just got off away and said you freak and then went on mobile...even though he dozent have a cell...humm..ok that makes scence...*shurggz* I've got bigger things to ponder...
MUHA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL anyways I think Ill c if I can call rae and if not then Im gonna do homework@.@.....

Bored...

Nothing special has happed...at all...well at least stuff i am willing to talk about...(teeheehee) but yeah..Im drinking a SOBE *yummi* and um i got my braces changed again...*ouch* but there just sliver this time cuz I dont want to draw attention to my braces...cuz i dont like um....but my crush thinks their cute ^.^ so theres a plus...and um...Im almost all the way caught-up in my home skool work -_-....and....my hair isnt THAT bad but I still dont like it short...*icky* .....O my dads getting back from his dads furneral (in NY) to-nite so yeah.....I should get back to my skool work so I get caught up faster....ttyl

~OMFG~

I CUT MY HAIR TOO FREAKIN SHORT!!!! WHAT THE IS WRONG WITH MEE!!?

Anouncement...

My Dads' Dad Died Today...

SUPER-PUP (chloe in her hollo-ween costume)

SUPER-PUP (chloe in her hollo-ween costume),
originally uploaded by lovemeeifyoudare.

This iz my hottie dog on Holloween her name iz chloe!! shez a poodle!!ANd i love her and if you dont you have problemz!!!
LOL

Rae with bangs

Rae with bangs ,
originally uploaded by rachel654.

Isn't she a hottie?

I am just pissed...

*sigh* so the latest is that I got sent a porn E-card from "kyler" but it wasnt him It was (i think) someone named whitney...but yeeeah Im reeeeeeeeeeealy mad right now...cause I dont know about you but I dont think Its funny...But w/e ...oh and also this one guy is being totally mean to mee for no freakin' reason...ARRRRGGG! well my dads pissed too cuz he decided to go though my e-mail and found the porn in my inbox (b4 i sall it) and like called mike (the paster at my/kyler's/whitney's/a lot of other peoples' church)so yeeeeeeeeah...I think Im getting a cold....*yawn* I guess Im just a freak magnet...

Understanding Mee

hey rae

dont take anything i said seriously I was really upsett with my life and I tend to take it out on people that mean the most to mee...but we really need to talk...like soon...cuz i wanna know some things and I need to tell you (in more detail) why I was soo upsett...I was like freaking out but yeeeah...you know mee a lil' cool down time...(sleeping it off hahaha) and Im as "good" as new was...*sigh* but do you really think he "likes" mee just because he "said" i was cute dozent mean he likes mee... and ok no Im not gonna get into this I REALLY need to talk to you....2 bad u didnt get on after nite church:( lol I need to get some major sleep now cuz its like 10:00 and I feel like crap...but really dont worry about mee much ill live...again its the stuff all happing at the same time! I love you...becuse it makes mee feel good!!;) buy bi bye

Great...really...just wonderful

what is wrong with mee Im sitting here crying...just becuse my best and (litterly) only friend is hanging out withsome one else b-sides mee...I mean she so derseves a friend better than mee ...but...gosh this is one of those times ya know when ya just wanna give up on life...its all shit anyways...oh and guess what i found out the guy i like is freakin' 18...not that I care but he would and so would my parents and so would the freakin' law...and hez leaving anywayz so whatever...its really hot that he's training to be a cop/SWAT ...ug *shakes head to clear* Oh ya want some more "good" news? Im like a month and a half b-hind in skool work and my parents are pissed, so I get to stay home 24/7 and finish it...and really Im dooin grrrreat if you think living in your bed a way of dooing skool work, that is. so yeah at this current point Ive got no freakin life and a heak of a veiw on life. Im gonna go and do what Ive been dooing for the past 2 1/2 weeks sleep, sleep my freakin' life away....weeeeeeee fun

Special (part of) Convo.

GoodGurl-ish says:
did u read my bloggy?

You have just sent a Nudge!

Rae says:
erm
Rae says:
like, 20 min ago
GoodGurl-ish says:
just wundre'n
GoodGurl-ish says:
make any scence?
GoodGurl-ish says:
:P

You have just sent a Nudge!

Rae says:
the "not freakin' fair"
Rae says:
post?
GoodGurl-ish says:
yepp
Rae says:
lol
Rae says:
yes
Rae says:
and, oh
GoodGurl-ish says:
?
Rae says:
.its not like i take anything seriously ever anyways.
Rae says:
thats y u SHOULDNT date
Rae says:
a relationship is sumthing serious
GoodGurl-ish says:
I know ummm lemme explain
GoodGurl-ish says:
If I find someone thats worth being serious with then I think that maby I could start taking my life more serisouly also....make secnse?
Rae says:
yeah. but it should be friendships. not boys, that make life matter
GoodGurl-ish says:
HAHAHAHAHA I alreaddy take that seriously tho....But like I donno I just think for mee thats the only thing that will work...and its not to make "life matter" life alreddy dose matter I just dont take it seriously.....
GoodGurl-ish says:
I guess I need som1 other than a gurl make mee feel like I matter....
GoodGurl-ish says:
and thats sounds really stupid but in my minde it makes compleate secnce
GoodGurl-ish says:
soooooo...yeah

You have just sent a Nudge!

Rae says:
lol
GoodGurl-ish says:
*grinnz*
Rae says:
i know wut u mean
Rae says:
sum1 other than...like. in a way, ur friends and family r obligated 2 make u feel loved and special. in a way, a guy isnt. its more of by choice, because they arent the more trustworthy ones. like...friends and stuff. GURLZ, r more open about how they feel. and so they show their love more open, and freely. but guys dont
Rae says:
and so, that rare feeling of satisfaction, because a guy needs u
Rae says:
wants u
Rae says:
is wut ur looking for
Rae says:
am i right?
GoodGurl-ish says:
*shiverzz*
GoodGurl-ish says:
lol
GoodGurl-ish says:
yeah....
Rae says:
am i?
Rae says:
how right?
GoodGurl-ish says:
like creepily too close
GoodGurl-ish says:
lol
Rae says:
how special
GoodGurl-ish says:
totally
Rae says:
so, because of that, u feel like, if a guy was freely, and WANTED to love u, then that would b sumthing that would motivate u 2 better urself, and take life more seriously?
Rae says:
wanting*
Rae says:
wanted
GoodGurl-ish says:
*mutterz* u 2 good @ this
Rae says:
eh. actually, i suck at this
GoodGurl-ish says:
well maby 4 ur self
GoodGurl-ish says:
lol
Rae says:
lol
GoodGurl-ish says:
but every1 doz
Rae says:
i can do myself perfectly
Rae says:
but...i always feel like im off
Rae says:
on others
GoodGurl-ish says:
creepy fine
GoodGurl-ish says:
w/e
Rae says:
lol
GoodGurl-ish says:
anywayzz new sub.
Rae says:
lol

Oops

I didnt do it...

Not freakin' Fair

How come life seems to get in my way!! I mean thats why Im a in the moment gurl cuz the more I think about it the more I freakin doubt myself and any one eles opinion....*sighz* I guess Im just being stupid I mean... I dont know...like people say I shouldent date yet anyways but I dont freakin care about that really I mean what do they know....yes they have been my age and have done this before but there not mee...its not like i take anything seriously ever anyways...thats why I think that I need to do this...cuz I need to start to take life more seriously and i think that if I....ok that sounds really stupid....arg maby Im just compleatly insane and I just need to shut up....maby I am too young...maby i really dont know what Im talking about....maby...maby.... *shakes head to clear it* I think I need a self makeover cuz Im starting to think that maby its my fault that..... *make frustrated noise* never mind Im gonna go now before I say sumthing I really regret.

Secret....

Rae says:
can u plz forget i said that
Rae says:
?
Rae says:
and that bonnie told u that
TF Vapor says:
lol,fiine
TF Vapor says:
but i'm gona remember it!

Convo.

Im just a girl in a silly red sheet says:
weeee ur on kinda...
Rae says:
lol, im back
Im just a girl in a silly red sheet says:
weeeeeeeee ur on
Rae says:
yup
Rae says:
lol
Im just a girl in a silly red sheet says:
Rae says:
omg, cameran came over
Rae says:
bleh
Im just a girl in a silly red sheet says:
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Im just a girl in a silly red sheet says:
lol
Rae says:
the doorbell rang, so i ran down and answered it
Im just a girl in a silly red sheet says:
bad idea
Rae says:
then i saw it was him, and im like "What the heck are you doing here???"
Im just a girl in a silly red sheet says:
LOL
Rae says:
so nice, am i
Im just a girl in a silly red sheet says:
totally
Rae says:
lol