You Know

Things that shouldn't happen
people who don't really care
things are getting harder
surprised I never heard my heart tare
because we all know it happened
somewhere along the way

You know I'm lost
but what you don't know is
I'm so very afraid
You know the cost
but what you already know is
you don't really care

So, In a world like this
when you always feel like you miss
In this world filled with nothing
all you know is ...

You've been turn inside-out
been lied to, and cried
but when everything seems like
nothing worth it anymore
you see that glimpse of heaven
and everything doesn't seem so bad

Its funny how things change
how with every twist it gets strange
how with every day
I seem to change in every way

wanting to laugh, to cry
everyday I ask why
but I know the answer
it infects me like a cancer

So, In a world like this
when you always feel like you miss
In this world filled with nothing
all you know is ...

You've been turn inside-out
been lied to, and cried
but when everything seems like
nothing worth it anymore
you see that glimpse of heaven
and everything doesn't seem so bad

You know I'm lost
but what you don't know is
I'm so very afraid
You know the cost
but what you already know is
you don't really care

You really don't...










(c) Bonnie B.

Biloxi, Mississippi Missions Trip

I have always wanted to go on a missions trip to go and help... In my small way... My parents decided that now was the time to act on that... So on February 11th I will be going to Biloxi, Mississippi to do what I can to help with the hurricane relief.... I'm really excited and scared to be all on my own with no family or friends I know of... I know this will be a life changing experience for me and I'm going to try to get the most out of it... My mom had a friend that went to Biloxi and she sent my mom her report on what she did and saw... The devastation sounds horrible... I know we have heard about all this on the news and what-not... But the reality of it is that IM going to help put back what the hurricane took away... And for me.... I guess it made it that much more real.... SO I'm asking for your prayers and encouragement as I get closer and closer to leaving... I think I will be gone 7-10 days... I will update later on it because on Sunday I'm going to a meeting about it... Thanks for caring... heh


<3Bons

Frisbee in 5 inches of mud....

I know I said I wasn't going to play anymore... But I wasn't planning on playing... That's why I was wearing my new shirt and shoes.... Sadly my shoes got really muddy but my shirt only got a little bit of mud on it... My pants got really muddy but that's no big deal... But from the beginning... I got dressed and set aside my Ipod, cell phone AND my book... At around 3:30 Adam, Evan, and Sara showed up in the van and I grabbed my stuff and started upstairs... Remembered my cell was plugged in and went back to get it... Got it and decided it was kind of rude to bring my book... So I left it there... And went out to the van... And we drove up to where we were playing... When we got there we found out 6 people we didn't know were playing also... 3 girls and 3 guys... So there was going to be Adam, Anna, Evan, John, Sara, James, Alex, Luke, Chris and the other 6 people... Which I was introduced too... But I have a horrible memory and can't really remember them... So everyone was talking to people and I felt kind of out of place... I don't know why... Then Me and Rae both got a little muddy... I hadn't meant to... But you know how it is... Got my new shoes muddy... Then took them off and got my feet all muddy... heh.... Then we ran down to the swings and then Alex and Luke got there and then Anna and James... And then we were starting and we did teams and I was with John, Anna, Sara, Joe, and the 3 guys I didn't know... And the other team was Alex, Evan, James, Luke, Chris, Rae and the 3 girls... Adam didn't play, he said it was because of a broken toe later... But I have my suspicions... So we started playing... I ended up not really being included... Which I really didn't mind much but... I didn't want to be walking back and forth on 5 inches of mud... So I bailed... Which may have made me look like a bad sport or a drama Queen but really that wasn't it.... But anyways I went and did what I do when I'm bored or whatever.. Listen to my Ipod... I <3 My Ipod... heh... So I got to listen to all of about 1 1/2 songs when Adam of all people found me... So he asked me if I was alright... which I was and said some other suff... and he told me something I had alreddy been told but It was very amusing hearing it from him... so He ended up talking to me for a while... which was weird but amusing... Because Adam never really had said much to me before... we mostly talked about his school and how he likes to show off and Boys and their toys.... heh his words NOT mine... AND just so everyone knows I was in NO way flirting with him... cross my heart and hope to die... the reason I say that is because after the game was over and done with people made comments like that...Its not that I mind much... but I think Adam might have... but anywho I was freazing ... so I decided to put my shoes on and then I decided I'd run around the feild... So I did and it helped.... then Chris gave me his coat (cause he's kool like that) and that was warm but I ran around once more.... then my cell rang and it was my mom... and she wanted to bing me home now... so I guess Rae talked to Adam and he said he'd take me and Rae back to Rae's house... So Rae changed and we got drove back to Rae's... Overall it was pretty fun... the experience not the game...

Feel

Sleeplessness, excited
tired, sleep
awake, dressed
ready, happy
upset, blah
bored, bored, bored
not happy, less happy, mad
late, really late, too late
get there, scared
looks, doesn't find
upset, sad
calls home, talks, hangs up
tries to stay cool
sees a few faces, says a few words
pose for the world, hide sadness for later
car pulls up, gets in, drives away
mad, sad, mad
hasn't eaten anything, faint
doesn't eat, pushes limit
breaks down, eats
sighs, wanders
nods, ignores
yelling, yelling, YELLING
cowers, jumps
sad, plays music
ignores, sad
phone rings, its for mom
yelling stops, mom gets on phone
I wait, listen to music
still waiting, hoping

Quoting Myself how Ironic...

"Don't Mind Me... I have a morbid view of myself... And have a hard time believing that people stick up for me or believe in me...." Quoting myself how Ironic... I want to explain why I said that... Not really to you... But to myself....

I say this because.... *sigh* before I write all this I want you to understand I DON'T feel sorry for myself... It may seem like that... But its not the case... I do at times feel sorry for myself... But really who doesn't? So Please Just... Don't.

I said that because as a child I always was the trouble maker... The kid no one wanted to babysitt, or have in their class... I was just never the kid my parents wanted me to be.... I always had bad grades and report cards... Saying things like "disruptive" "doesn't stay on her chair" "needs improvement"... They thought I had ADD for the longest time... I got tested... Who knows how many times... They still couldn't tell... So they put me on a drug to see if it had any positive affects on me... It didn't... I couldn't eat... Had a even harder time sleeping then usual... My stomach always hurt... I started to always have my arm wrapped around my middle to comfort myself... To this day I use it to comfort myself... They eventually took me off... Slowly... After that ... It was the begging of 6th grade... My mom took me out of the school I was in and put me into a advanced private Christian school... They had me take a test to place me in a grade that "suited" me... They said I wouldn't be able to go into the 6th grade class... I wasn't smart enough... That day I know I failed my parents in some major way... I cried and threw a fit... Which is was what I always did... And they said I could give 6th grade a chance... I tried as hard as I could to stay in that class... But they ended up taking me out of the 6th grade class... And put me in a 5th grade class... I tried to stay away from all the people that would recongnise me in the 6th grade class... But soon the whole school knew I was "put back" not smart enough... Not normal... That began my 3 years at the school from he11... I didn't have any friends for the longest time... But it was a Christian school and the teacher had someone befriend me... Humiliating... So the 2nd year I had mainly had 2 friends Cassie and Jordan... Cassie was an over bearing bossy brat... a single child... Jordan was just different, she loved horses... Was obsessed... I still wasn't making the cut... Still getting bad grades, bad report cards... I was a freak, someone to laugh at... The girl who got put back... I'd go to the bathroom sometimes and just cry... cry cause I let my parents down... Cry cause I let Myself down.... Cried cause I hated how I heard whispers every time I saw someone form my short-lived 6th grade class.... They wouldn't let me forget it... My mom was paying good money for this school and I was flunking... After 3 years she took me out... And I was once again introduced back into the public school by my house... Jr. High...7th and 8th... I thought I'd finally get away from the whispering and the stares and have a new start... I was wrong... My first day of school I found out to my horror that I knew allot of the kids from the 8th grade year... My old class mates.... I tried to Ignore it... The stares I was getting the whispers... Pretended I was imagining it... But they wouldn't let me either... a girl walks up to me... Sara... a gorgeous, popular girl and says "your Bonnie right? You were in my class, why are you in 7th grade?" she was mocking me... I almost broke down and cried right there... But I put on a brave face and said that I went to am advanced private school and that I was placed in a lower grade... So she says " you mean put-back, right?" I nod... Not knowing what to say... Not able to say anything else with out crying... She laughs and walks off whispering to her blonde companion... From them on I knew I was NEVER going to be known as anything else but "the-girl-that-got-put-back"... And I would have been right... I tried to get into the 7th grade "popular" group... But they were just waiting for me to mess up I did... I always do... The one thing I couldn't handle was the lunch room... I was afaid of the lunch room... Really I was terrified... It sounds funny... Don't you think?... But its true... So allot of the time I would go to the bathroom and eat my lunch in a stall... It sounds like something out of a movie right?... Well I did... And as I had for so long I just sat and cried in the bathroom... Because I'd never get away from it all... Because I let down myself... My parents... I was sick of it all... I was sick of being scared... Of letting them label me... So after I couldn't get into the "popular group" the only other choices I had were the nerds or the goths.... I hated the nerd group... They all annoyed me.... The goths... They were... My way out of the label "the-girl-who-got-put-back"... So I started to hang with them and got into things I wish I hadn't but I was SO sick of this... Of life... I started cutting myself... It was.... It was like a physical pain made my emotional pain seem less... I don't know... I was still flunking... But I didn't care anymore... But truly I did.... But I could at least pretend I didn't now... My report cards always had red ink telling my parents... I wasn't participating... My parents would yell at me... At each other... It was tarring me up... I cut myself more and more as the year progressed... Kept getting into things I couldn't have... One day I forgot to cover up my badly cut-up arm from my mom... She saw it... And the look she gave me... I had yet again let her down in a major way... I don't really know what she said or what happened... I know my parents talked to me... But I don't know if I really heard... They took me to a psychologist... I had been to one before but not for something like this... I don't really remember that either but... I ended up on prozact... a depression drug... I slowly made my dosage to a little more that 50mg... That's about as much as a average male would take... And I guess it helped... a little... But I still was in the Goth group... In the last months of my 7th grade year I was dressing normally and acting like a average mad public schooler... Still flunking... At the end of 7th grade year my mom told me I wasn't going to go here next year... I wasn't really surprised... I was surprised when she said she was homeschooling me... But at that point... I would have agreed to almost anything.... Just as long as I didn't have to go to that school anymore... On a slight tangent... During 7th grade... In the middle of it when all this stuff was going down... The one place I felt... Well safe.. Was church... The ONLY place I was happy... I had a big group of "friends" .... It was a weird set up... But it all fell apart at the seams... I had 2 close friends out of the group Meg and Rae... And I found out Meg didn't think to highly of me... At all... It was... Too much... I found out though Rae because Meg was telling all my friends what she really thought about me... And Rae was the only person who cared enough about me to tell me what was going on... The only one who told me what was being said about me... You know what I did... I went to the girls bathroom... And you guessed it I cried... And cried... And cried.... My whole world was coming down around me... Rae, because she stuck up for me, went down with my ship... The group disowned us... Meg kept trying to apologize... But I have a stubborn pride... And I couldn't be friends with someone who thought so lowly of me... The reality of it is that When No One else believed in me, when no One else stuck up for me... Rae did... And if she hadn't... I wouldn't Be alive today... I know that sounds dramatic... But ... It's true... I would have ki11ed myself... I was sick of it all.... And losing my friends... Would have been the thing to but me off the edge... I want you to grip the reality of this... Just because ONE person believed in me and helped me I'm still ALIVE... Rae saved my life... One person.... One choice changed the course of my life.... ONE choice YOU make can make a difference in their life...... Don't say I'm being dramatic and that really I would have made it... Or one thing you do won't change anything... Because it just ISN't true.... So a combo. Of My friendship with Rae and being homeschooled got me off prozact and I started to finally be something.... I've been home-schooling for about 2 years now and I'm finally getting good grades... I'm finally seeing that there's MORE to me... That I AM beautiful... Cause I never believed it... Rae Is My best friend... I think she always will be... And I'm so happy that God Gave me her...



***NOTE: As this is all in the past, I have forgiven Meg for any pain she has caused me, and we have moved on.***

Yesterday....

Yesterday was the first day I enjoyed being ungrounded. I got to go to 11:15 service at church and see all my friends... I get there and walk up to Caitlyn and Rae, and they say Hi, then Rae's all like "do you know someone named Katie from ccs?" and I said I did and she says well she was at that thing I was last night and she just randomly said 'Do you know someone named Bonnie B? Well she's a s1ut.' .... ahhh HELLO?! I was the nobody in the corner when I went to that school!!! grrr so I stomped off... trying to get to the girls bathroom (my haven) but I sware everything was in my way *sigh* but I got there and Rae was after me and She told me how she and the other girls chewed her out... (which, may I add, I don't know if I completely believe... I believe she did but *grinz* Don't Mind Me... I have a morbid view of myself... And have a hard time believing that people stick up for me or belive in me....) So I left the bathroom and talked to a few other people before church started and after I talked to a few more people, then Rae, Caitlyn and I wandered off and then Caitlyn left... Then Rae and I bumped into Andrew and followed him around ... Until we followed him to where they have the pop machine and we bought pop.... Then we had Daddy (aka Rae's dad, Ben) drive us to the outdoor mall thing with the movies near the church and looked at shops, tried on stuff, messed around and then went to the movies ... Rae bought a large popcorn, a big kit-kat, some sour stuff and peanut-butter pieces for us, then we saw Tristan and Isolde... Which was a VERY good movie... I cried... But that doesn't say much, I cried at king Kong... *grin* but after that I had to change because as I had known ahead of time there was no way I could have walked very much farther in my swexy boots and skirt... So I went to the bathroom and put on my sweats and running shoes I had brought with me and we walked back to the church... We got there and we were put straight to work... We ended up babysitting 8 kids... Ages 11 months to 11 years... We were supposed to have 6, and the youngest was supposed to be 3... The varying ages made it hard crowd to please... very tiring... We watched Veggie tales, made sure the baby didn't put legos into her mouth and poured lots of drinks... That finally ended at 7:00 and me and Rae cleaned the room and Ben took us to Rae's where my mom picked me up... And I went home and watched T.V. till 11:30... Then I took a shower and went to bed sometime after 12:00.... I was really tired... Surprised I managed to stay up as late as I did....

How Compatible are You with me?

SimilarMinds.com Compatibility Test

Rae's match with Bonnie they're 66% similar And they're 67% complementary

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Modeling...

Ok so yesterday I was at the mall with my mom and brother. We went to Zumez to get Connor some new shoes... I sware I thought I was bad, we were there over 2 hours looking. I was really bored... So I just wandered around the store thinking... (and if you don't know, when I think I get this pouty look on my face) but there I was standing there... Majorly spacing-out and some lady comes up to me, she was a Modeling Scout. (and Yes I have been approached by them before... It wasn't really a new thing... But I donno) She said I "have really good look for modeling" *rolls eyes* and then she hands me her card and says I should give them a call *yawn* and leaves. Not new, the only think that was new was me, I started to think about what it would be like to actually take them up on it. And yes I know, in this business it takes money to make money But... I couldn't help wondering... Can't help wondering... But yah know.


(hehehe here's their Web-site.)

>New Points< Im gonna keep adding more until its done so if you like my life story keep checking in and comment (plez) if not then ignore it :(

I'm going to skip most of it up until Christmas eve. Christmas eve My family and I went to the Christmas eve service at the earliest service, because we were going downtown later that night to meet some relatives at some fancy restaurant. So, there I was sitting in the front row (like always when I go to my parents service) and we were early and I was bored So I said Hi to a few people I knew and sat back down still very bored. I turned around a recongnised the boy that was sitting directly behind me, So being as bored as I was I.. Well listed-in to what him and (I was assuming) his family were saying. I found out that John (the boys name) now went to a military Boarding school in Texas (though I had remembered him going to L.O.) and some other non- interesting things but after a while the service started and I endured the weirdness of the service... It wasn't bad really... Just different. Then I really had to go to the bathroom at a really odd part of the service (there was some girl doing some ballet like dancing... It was really interesting...) so I left for the bathroom. When I came out I saw John at the drinking fountain. And I guess I said something along the lines of "so military school, huh?" and so we walked back to service and said a few things along the way. SO yah I endured the rest of the service and then a guy I also recongnised that had sat across the way came and said Hi to me, after he left I turned to get my stuff (and yes I was looking around to see if John was still there, I didn't see him) so I got my stuff, put on my coat and looked up to see John standing there. He ended up asking for my number, I gave it to him. Later that night he called and asked if I wanted to go to the movies with him the day after Christmas, I (knowing I had nothing better to do) said I'd love to. A little while later me and my family headed downtown to some fancy restaurant that I didn't like. And sat there smiling and nodding and whatever else they required of me. (yawn) But the meal ended up being like a little under $300 for the 6 of us 0.0. So that ended after a reeeealy loooong tiiime. And The next day was Christmas and the was fun (duh) and the next day I went to the movies with John, we saw King Kong. It was really good! I cried (so embarrassing!! O well) ((((((to be continued.... Cause I'm lazy))))))


Kay so yaah... Went to the movies. And he walked me home and met my parents. OK so this for me was weird... For one I don't GO on dates with guys... Not really anyways... And this WAS a date and for two I had NEVER EVER introduced any guys to my parents, well that I could help. It was fine but... Weird. So after he left I was still kinda dazed... Ok maybe more than a little but hey. So yaah I go to my room and think and whatever. I don't really remember when he called me next but he did and I said I would met him another time. But that never worked cause I ended up going to Rae's House because I wanted to go shopping with her. So my mom picked her up... And we left her house... Ran into traffic... Mom then says "there's too much traffic, Lets just take Rae Back Home"... Me and Rae "NO WAY"... Mom dose it anyways... pfft we were not happy! So we asked my mom if I could just sleep-over at her house and I could go home with her on Thursday after church... My mom said yes... Her mom said Yes... I was in. So I ended up staying at her house for 3 days and we made plans for her to come to my place for 3 days too, cause I was hosting a NYE party at my house and needed her help prepping. So yaaah me and Rae hung-out and whatever and I remembered I had a date with John (oops) I called my cell (which my brother had) and asked Connor if anyone had called for me... John had and Conner had told him I was going to be at Rae's for till Thursday. *sigh* so MY BROTHER had cancelled on MY date... (cue me screaming heh) so I asked my brother to give me his number (which was on my phone) and some other numbers I had to call to see if they could come to my party or not. SO I called John and apologized and said I had not planned this and said I'd have to call him later to reschedule... He didn't sound too happy but I had no other choice at that point so.... I moved on (haha) me and Rae did the usual mischief and stayed up late woke up... Late *laughs* then it was Thursday and we went to church and then went to my house and hung-out there too. I called John at some point too inviting him to my New Years Eve Party. Meanwhile Rae and I... or rather I was putting off party plans cause well... I'm a procrastinator... I know its shocking haha oooooor not. So yahh then it comes down to like 5 or 6 hours till the party and Rachel (of course) takes command and put me into gear so we start to decorate and whatever and then we remember we also need to get food (cause my mom bailed out on me) and get movies to watch AND get ready (cause I was still in my PJ's) So we took it up a notch and did all the things we NEEDED to do before me left to get the food and such at the store. At the Store Rae (because I was broke LIKE ALWAYS) spent around $40 on food and whatever. We were seriously booking it cause we had to walk (run) back home with all the stuff we bought (which may I add was heavy, or maybe I'm just a wimp) then we checked out two movies: Dark Water and Alexander )both of which Rae picked out FYI. *grinz* Love you Rae)(P.S.-DON'T RENT ALEXANDER I SWARE ITS A G@Y P0RN-0 MOVIE!!! LITERALLY *deep breaths* anywho) so yeah we got what we needed (which basically was 4 piazzas, 2 bags of chips, 2 packs of oreo's,2 packs of assorted candy and two 12-pack sodas) and carried that about half a mile back to my house (on about 3 hours of sleep). SO we got home in one piece with all the stuff and had enff time to set up and get the rest of the way ready. After a while Jeremy and Nick showed up, then a while later John showed up and a long while after that James and Sean showed up. (yes I had invited girls to my party... But I don't know many girls and the few I DO know and can tolerate were either busy or just hate me *grinz*) So yaah there we all were at my party... Talking and such, it was really fun just chilling with my friends! Most of the party is kinda blurry for me cause for one I was tired and two... It was a while ago... (or maybe just seems like it cause SOO much has happened) but I'll give you the gist of it... People talked, watched the movie, we played hide and seek tag in the dark... Some ppl went down to the store and Got energy drinks (yummy) and at one point Mike (AKA stalker Mike (( he is named this because he called me 72 time in 3 days... And those were my MISSED calls...)) he earned his name) stopped by (he had also stopped by earlier before my party too to BEG me to go out with him... *shudder*) and he was being his normal creepy self so just so he got the hint I started like REALLY flirting with John and calling him My Boyfriend and whatever so that mike would leave me ALONE!! He got the hint... *grinz* Rae (the whole time he was there) really wanted to hit him, but she didn't sadly. So yeah then mike left and we all were chilling again. And Before I knew it, it was 11:50 (almost midnight) and I made them stop there (creepy) movie and we all counted down and made LOTS of noise and confettie and I... I got my midnight Kiss (with John) outside the backdoor *grinz* That was the first time I got to do that before VERY fun... But then James decided to tell everyone what exacly their host was doing (thanks SOO much James hahaha) So yeah the party was winding down cause everyone had to leave at 1:00-ish... So after the party the place was A MESS... But me and Rae we just Went to bed it was around 2:00 then and we had stayed up pretty late for 6 days now so yaaah we slept pretty well!! (((To be Continued.... Cause... I'm busy))))

So we got to sleep till 9:30 cause we had to get up and get ready for church at 11:15. We were SOO tired but we managed to get ready and look... Well pretty hott (well Rae at least *grinz*) So we go to Church and I had told John he had to come because... He did haha and so he was there and we found Caitlyn and low and behold Lauren was with her (I hadn't seen or talked to that girl for... A really long time!) so we talked and found seats I ended-up at the end of the row with John to my left and then Rae and then Lauren and then Caitlyn. Service started and Megan showed up and squeezed in somewhere... And so yaah that was entertaining after the singing there was the sermon and I ended up drawing on Johns hand cause... I wanted to? (Its actually easier for me to pay attention If IM DOING something rather than sitting there listening.) but anyways that ended and We all talked by the front for a while.. And I was being weird like always and Caitlyn, Megan and Lauren smelled John cause I said He smelled REALLY good... He did, they agreed and I don't think John Minded a bunch of girls smelling him anyways. haha. So I remembered (after parting with Lauren and Caitlyn) that I had to clean the garage all by myself today when I got home :((( So I, decided to complain (what a shocker) and John Offered to help me clean it up (cause he's sweet like that) and I said I'd love him too but I'd have to ask my mother (who may I add, had a hangover from her NYE party cause my moms a two beer queer hahaha) and So then he had to leave and he said he'd call later to see if he could come over and help. And So it was just Megan, Rae and I. And I had to get to my car before my mom got mad so they walked me to my car and I said good-bye to the both of them. And drove off to pick up my dad who was doing a church related obligation. So we get there and my cell rings and its John asking if He could help. So I ask my mom (at this point also-known-as: scary hangover lady. hehehe?) and she said no for some-such reason... So I told John that my mom was being S.H.L. and that we should meet later, and that I'd call him after I was done cleaning the party mess.
(((((OMG To be continued... Cause it is a really long story!!!)))))))

So I get home and start to clean the garage (which was REALLY scary in daylight!!!) and I figured out how tired I was... I was REALLY tired but I got over it. haha. So I cleans the garage, it took about 45 min.s ... Not too bad but boring! So Then I call John and ask him If he would meet me down at the park across the street from my house. He agreed. So I put on my new running outfit I got for Christmas and tell my mom I'm going running (yes that was a white lie... But COME ON!) so I take my Ipod and cell phone and make my way to the park to meet John (who at this point I really liked). He got there and We walked a little bit then my cell Phone rings... It was my mom asking if I was, in fact meeting John there (cause as you remember I had asked her If I could see if and she said no... She knows me TOO WELL and knows I don't respond to the word no I find my way around it) I of course said No I was not meeting him I was running and I said Connor (my little brother) was here with me, so she asked to talk to him... *sigh* so I call my brother and ask him to talk to mom and tell her He would check up on me and whatever. He said he would. So he called my mom and Connor called back asking me if I was meeting John, I had to tell him the truth or he would bug me the whole time so I said I was. He asked to talk to him... I let him...(earlier at my party John had said he didn't want him Xbox and ever sense then Connor had bugged him about it.) Connor bribed John saying he wouldn't tell if he gave him the Xbox. John said he would... (argggg) so everything was set. But I wasn't very happy about the xbox. But we ended up the trails and talking it was really nice, and so that lasted about 30 min.s then I sat down on some bench and we talked a bit more... But talk somehow turned into kissing (can I say one thing about that? He's a really good kisser! Drives me insane. haha) so then my cell rings again... (cue me throwing my cell in to the river!!! *sigh) I answered it and It was my dad (uh-oh) he asked me where I was I said I was almost at the bridge he said he would give me a ride home... I said I was gonna run back it was the whole point of running!! So he said ok... But I knew he would still wait in his car to see if I left alone... So I kissed John one more time and said I had to go... He complained... I laughed.. Kissed him again and got up and told him I had to, and told him he had to wait a while before he left. He said he'd walk a little while the other way then leave. So I hugged him and took off jogging (haha) and when I Jogged by the parking lot I saw my dads car (duh) and kept going then looked back and (as I knew he would be doing) he was still there. But after about a minute he started to drive back home. And that's how I made my great escape... For nothing (you'll find out later) ((((((to be continued cause my hands HURT!!!))))))